Working It Out PSHE lesson plan
A primary PSHE lesson for Years 3 to 4 that helps UK teachers introduce practical strategies for solving problems with friends through a structured, ready-to-teach lesson. Pupils learn to recognise common friendship problems, think through different ways to respond and practise calm, respectful ways to work things out. The lesson gives teachers a clear way to talk about friendship difficulties without needing to refer to a specific incident, supporting pupils' wellbeing and coping skills as part of everyday classroom life.
Goal Setting, Mindset & Self-Worth
Snapshot
Working It Out
This lesson gives teachers a structured way to introduce friendship problem solving and coping strategies in the classroom. Feedback: 4.0/5 from 31 student responses
Prep time:
5 to 10 minutes
Lesson length:
45 to 50 minutes
Key Focus
Solving problems with friends and building coping skills
Lesson Format
Teacher-led discussion and structured activities
What pupils will learn
By the end of the lesson, students will be supported to:
Recognise
recognise common signs that a friendship problem has come up, such as disagreement, hurt feelings or being left out
recognise that different people can see the same situation differently
recognise when a problem feels too big to manage alone
Understand
understand that most friendship problems can be worked through with calm, respectful conversation
understand why listening to a friend's point of view helps solve a problem fairly
Practise
practise using calm language to explain how they feel during a disagreement
practise thinking of more than one way to solve a problem before choosing one
practise deciding when to ask a trusted adult for support
Who this lesson is for?
This lesson is designed for pupils in Years 3 to 4 who are developing the language and confidence to work through everyday friendship problems.
It is suitable for:
primary PSHE lessons
relationships education
pastoral care, circle time or form time
wellbeing and coping skills sessions
general friendship and social skills work
Suitability should be based on more than age alone. Teachers should consider the lesson focus, pupil maturity, cohort needs, classroom culture, existing discussion norms and available support pathways.
Best used when
Use this lesson when students need clear, practical language for recognising unkind behaviour and knowing what to do next.
Introducing friendship problem solving Use when pupils need a simple structure for thinking through disagreements calmly.
Building classroom culture Use when reinforcing respectful communication and fair ways to resolve disagreements.
Reinforcing previous learning Use to revisit coping strategies and problem solving language already introduced in wellbeing or PSHE lessons.
Supporting pupils after friendship issues Use to give structured discussion time after a disagreement, without focusing on one pupil's specific situation.
Preparing for transition Use when friendship groups are changing and pupils need extra support working through new social situations.
Creating a structured PSHE discussion Use when you want a calm, teacher-led conversation about coping with friendship problems.
The lesson can be used proactively with the whole class. It does not need to follow a specific incident.
Why this lesson matters
Friendship problems are a normal part of school life, but pupils do not always have the language or strategies to work through them calmly. Learning to pause, think about different options and talk things through gives pupils a practical starting point rather than reacting straight away. Working It Out is not only useful after a disagreement happens. Teaching pupils early how to notice a problem, consider another person's point of view and choose a calm response builds skills they can return to across many friendships and situations. This lesson supports a classroom culture where pupils feel more confident managing day to day social problems, while still knowing that some situations need support from a trusted adult.
How this lesson supports wellbeing
This lesson supports student wellbeing by building practical social and emotional skills students can use in everyday school life. It helps students develop:
Capability How the lesson supports it
Self awareness Pupils notice how they feel during a disagreement and what triggered it.
Perspective taking Pupils consider how a friend might see the same situation differently.
Communication skills Pupils practise calm, respectful language for explaining a problem.
Coping strategies Pupils learn simple steps for thinking through a problem before reacting.
Decision making Pupils weigh up more than one option before choosing how to respond.
Help seeking Pupils recognise when a problem is too big to manage alone and needs adult support.
For teachers and school leaders, the lesson contributes to broader wellbeing, respectful relationships, child safety and pastoral care goals in Australian primary schools.
Teaching notes & Delivery Considerations
This lesson includes content about unkind behaviour, exclusion and asking adults for help. It should be taught with calm, clear discussion norms.
Before teaching
Remind pupils not to name classmates or share specific stories about other people's friendships
Frame discussion around general examples and scenarios rather than real situations in the class
Make clear the lesson is about learning strategies, not working through one pupil's specific problem
Identify trusted adults pupils can speak to if a problem feels too big to manage alone
During delivery
Use everyday examples such as disagreeing over a game, feeling left out or a misunderstanding between friends
Give pupils time to practise calm phrases aloud or in pairs
Reinforce that most friendship problems can be worked through without arguing or retaliating
Allow pupils to respond through discussion, drawing or partner talk depending on confidence
Supporting safe discussion
Keep examples general rather than tied to real pupils or events
Reinforce that asking an adult for help is a sensible choice, not a failure
Be prepared to follow your school's safeguarding procedures and speak with the designated safeguarding lead if a pupil discloses harm or says they feel unsafe
Adaptation options
Use paired discussion for confident groups
Use drawing or individual reflection for quieter pupils
Spend more time identifying trusted adults if pupils need extra support with help seeking
