Acting Assertively wellbeing lesson plan
A primary wellbeing lesson for Years 3 and 4 that helps Australian teachers introduce assertive communication in friendship problems and bystander situations through a structured, ready-to-teach lesson. Students learn to recognise when a friendship situation feels unfair or unsafe, use assertive language to speak up for themselves, and practise safe ways to respond when they notice a friend being treated unfairly.
Healthy Relationships & Communication
Snapshot
Acting Assertively
The lesson gives teachers a structured way to introduce assertiveness skills for everyday friendship situations.
Prep time:
5 to 10 minutes
Lesson length:
45 to 50 minutes
Key Focus
Using assertive communication to manage friendship problems and respond safely as a bystander
Lesson Format
Teacher-led discussion and structured activities
What students will learn
By the end of the lesson, students will be supported to:
Recognise
recognise the difference between passive, aggressive and assertive responses in a friendship problem
recognise everyday situations where speaking up assertively could help, such as unfair sharing or exclusion
recognise when a bystander could safely support a friend
Understand
understand that being assertive means expressing feelings and needs respectfully, without being aggressive
understand that speaking up safely is different from arguing or retaliating
Practise
practise using assertive phrases to express feelings or needs in a friendship problem
practise responding as a bystander, such as supporting a friend or seeking help
practise choosing calm, respectful language in discussion scenarios
Who this lesson is for?
This lesson is designed for Years 3 and 4 students who are developing early friendship skills and beginning to navigate more complex peer situations, including times when they may notice a friend being treated unfairly.
It is suitable for:
primary wellbeing lessons
Health or PDHPE teaching
pastoral care or advisory sessions
friendship and social skills programs
respectful relationships units
Suitability should be based on more than age alone. Teachers should consider the lesson focus, student maturity, cohort needs, classroom culture, existing discussion norms and available support pathways.
Best used when
Use this lesson when students need clear, practical language for recognising unkind behaviour and knowing what to do next.
Introducing assertive communication Use when students need simple language for expressing feelings and needs without being passive or aggressive.
Building classroom culture Use when reinforcing respect, fairness and inclusion as part of everyday classroom expectations.
Supporting friendship skills Use when students are learning to manage everyday friendship problems, such as unfair sharing or exclusion.
Practising safe bystander responses Use when students need to understand how to support a friend safely without arguing or getting into conflict.
Reinforcing respectful relationships Use as part of a broader respectful relationships or social skills sequence.
Preparing for transition Use when peer groups are changing and students need clear, confident ways to manage new friendship dynamics.
The lesson can be used proactively with the whole class. It does not need to follow a specific incident.
Why this lesson matters
Students encounter friendship problems and bystander situations often, from unfair sharing to noticing a friend being treated unkindly. Learning to respond assertively gives students a practical alternative to staying silent or reacting aggressively. Assertiveness is a skill that can be practised and built over time. This lesson helps students understand that speaking up for themselves or others can be done calmly and respectfully, without needing to argue or handle a difficult situation alone. Building this skill early supports a classroom culture where students feel more confident expressing their needs and looking out for one another, while still knowing when to ask a trusted adult for support.
How this lesson supports wellbeing
This lesson supports student wellbeing by building practical social and emotional skills students can use in everyday school life. It helps students develop:
Capability How the lesson supports it
Self expression Students practise using assertive language to share feelings and needs.
Social awareness Students notice when a friendship situation feels unfair or unkind.
Empathy Students consider how a friend might feel in a difficult friendship situation.
Relationship skills Students practise respectful, calm responses to friendship problems.
Help seeking Students learn when to ask a trusted adult for support.
Confidence Students build confidence to speak up for themselves and others.
For teachers and school leaders, the lesson contributes to broader wellbeing, respectful relationships, child safety and pastoral care goals in Australian primary schools.
Teaching notes & Delivery Considerations
This lesson includes content about unkind behaviour, exclusion and asking adults for help. It should be taught with calm, clear discussion norms.
Before teaching
Remind students not to name classmates or share stories about other people
Frame the discussion around general scenarios, not personal accusations
Make clear that the lesson is about learning safe, respectful choices, not assigning blame
Identify trusted adults students can speak to at school
During delivery
Use everyday examples such as unfair sharing, being left out or noticing a friend treated unkindly
Give students time to practise assertive phrases aloud or through discussion
Reinforce that students do not need to argue, retaliate or manage unsafe situations alone
Allow students to respond through discussion or written reflection depending on confidence and maturity
Supporting safe discussion
Use general examples rather than personal disclosures
Reinforce that asking for help is a responsible choice, not a last resort
Be prepared to follow your school's child safety, wellbeing or child protection procedures if a student discloses harm or says they feel unsafe
Adaptation options
Use paired or small group discussion for confident groups
Use written or drawn reflection for quieter students
Spend more time on trusted adults and help seeking if students need extra support identifying who to ask
